Tuesday 3 December 2013

Broken Trophies


Oh, I'm used to the rowing by now. The crashing, banging, shouting and screaming. I listen automatically, sub-consciously waiting for the thump that will tell me he's gone one step further than before. The thump of a defeated body slumping to the ground, via a wall. It never comes to that usually. But it does tonight.


"Help me!" 

Those two words that I suppose I've willed her to say on so many occasions now pervade my wall, pierce my ears and spring me into action. Before she can say it again, I am there, on her doorstep. The animal has left, adding drink driving to his list of tonights misdemeanours. I feel safe and courageous. I feel a womanly pride as I look down at my crumpled neighbour. How dare any man reduce a woman to this! She is sobbing as I sit her down on the dishevelled sofa. I don't say much, what is there to say? We know what to do next.

Within an hour the police arrive. I show them into the living room and they start their routine questioning. I'm filling in the gaps, you know, the ones where the abused says nothing about previous nights of horror. She looks at me and casts down her eyes. 
"You forget," I tell her, "I live right next door. I hear everything." 
The policeman doesn't stop scribbling. His female colleague looks a bit green.

"God, I'm sorry!" the young woman exclaims, struggling to her feet. Well, I didn't see that coming. The carpet is now covered in vomit, the police woman looks white (which is more alarming than the green) and her colleague looks startled, like a deer caught in headlights. My neighbour has barely noticed. "Um, look we'll get off and I'll send another officer to finish off taking your statements." Then they were gone, the police. I can't help but wonder how they will tackle the animal when they're clearly terrified of a 'techni-colour yawn'. Finding the rubber gloves, I attempt to clean it up. Though, to be fair, it makes little difference to the altered state of the room. 
"Thank you so much for doing this!" 
"It's fine. It's what neighbours do."
"Yeah but, well, after the summer, well, you know..."
"Oh that. It's forgotten. Honestly. You did it, I shouted at you and now it's over."
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it." And I mean it. Please, I think, don't bloody mention it again! 


*

It was hard to reconcile the woman in front of me with the one who wantonly ransacked my bin bags last summer. For almost a week she would wait for me to leave for work, walk around to my garden, untie the bags and start picking through my rubbish. I was flabbergasted, I still am! When I asked her what the hell she was doing? She replied, 


"I just want the trophies!" 

I told her they were all broken but she carried on lifting them out anyway. In the end I had to call the police. They didn't throw up in my house, by the way. They wouldn't have dared! 


*

I waited a while, the police returned, we finished our statements and the animal didn't come home. "Will you be okay?" I asked.
"Um, yeah, yeah. Thank you again. I can't tell you how grateful I am. Especially after..."
"Honestly, please don't mention it! I'll check in on you tomorrow." I hug her and plant a sisterhood kiss on her bruised cheek.
As I walked through the hall to the front door I couldn't help but notice the broken trophies, all in a line on a purpose built shelf. Suppressing a smile, I said, 
"Lock up behind me, won't you?"


©Lisa Lee 2013, sleeping in Elvegren Life

Friday 16 August 2013

Loss

It's a shame you never loved me,
It's not your loss, it's all mine.


Because most my friends had 3 or 4
Who told them off,
then hugged them tight.
Who made them laugh,
with tales of plight.
And who loved their every flaw.



It's a shame you were my only one,
Yet I was one of many.



Because I always found out how
When you went away
You took the others,
But never me,
Or my brothers,
And it's bothering me now.



I have nothing to remind me,
'Cept a picture I procured.


Because you never really knew me.
Photos that I sent
You never saw,
Never opened,
Were found in a drawer.
And so that's my family.



It's a shame you never loved me,
Because I'm worth it, don't you know.












©Lisa Lee 2013, sleeping in Elvegren Life

Sunday 16 June 2013

Diet



My name is Bess. Bess May Smith and I have a tale to tell, though it isn’t really mine. It is the tale of my Granny but she is unable to tell it anymore.

Back in the black and white days, when ladies wore murky, long dresses and men were all uptight and combed their moustaches, my Gran was born. It was a rubbish time to be born, she told me. There was no colour in the world and children were not really liked by anyone, not even their own parents! That is why, she said, her mother left her in the village orchard. 

Her first memory is the smell; a gentle, soporific scent that wafted from the soft, green grass that enveloped her tiny body until she stopped crying and then lulled her into a dreamless sleep. From that first peaceful night she bloomed, protected by the canopy of the oldest tree in the orchard and nourished by the fruits it dropped beside her. She spent her first twelve years alone, my magical, beautiful Granny, toddling through the trees with an apple in each hand, then shinning up her ‘mother’ tree and weaving in and out between it’s limbs. Idyllic days, filled with innocence and an abundance of fruit. No one entered that beautiful orchard. It was a lost paradise, the railings and rusty gate overgrown with bind weed. Even the magisterial tree in the middle was viewed from afar as just part of the landscape. So she was safe, in one sense but quite lonely in another.

*

One day, so the story goes, a young man came wandering into the gated orchard and ambled purposely towards her tree! His legs were long and thin and he wore a jacket of velvet to cover his narrow back. She saw him through the boughs of her tree and her clear, bright eyes bore through his thick, curly blonde hair. He picked a fallen apple from the ground, sat himself down and leant back against the wide, gnarly trunk where he promptly fell asleep. As she held her gaze she found that she could see into his mind, his thoughts were like an open book to her, and they mirrored her own. She fell hopelessly in love that day, reading his soul through the leaves, breathless and still. She watched as his closed eyes flickered and a smile played upon his lips. Then, suddenly, one eye opened, followed quickly by the other! Granny squealed and (this is my favourite bit) fell from her branch, landing rather luckily and romantically, in his long velvet-clad arms. Now he was breathless, the only sound was the rustle of the leaves in the tree above them. Love is a magical thing you know. Really, it is.

*

That’s how my Granny met my Grampy. They built a hut in the orchard, to the left of Granny’s tree, and made a comfortable home. It wasn’t long before my mum, Rosie, came along. Never was a child more loved, never was a child so wanted. Her skin was pale, like her father’s but her cheeks were touched with the red that her mother held in hers. She fed on her mother’s milk for nearly two years - no wind-fell apples for this precious girl. 

Now the world had kept moving, the sun rose and set and progress, well, progressed. Rosie was a child of natural rebellion and so soon outgrew her orchard in the same way that we all outgrow our childhood home. The time came for her to branch out (that’s how Grampy put it, with a chuckle). But Granny was confused. She had never left the orchard, contenting herself with her beloved’s tales of ‘life beyond.’ My mum always said she was scared. You see, over the years and a diet purely of apples, Granny’s skin had taken on a slight green tinge. I think she looked beautiful but there was no denying that she looked different to other people. Grampy never pushed the issue, choosing to protect and cherish his wife wherever she wanted to be. That day, the day of Rosie leaving, everything in the orchard fell still. The tree bowed her boughs as Rosie wrapped her arms around it’s trunk, her tears soaked into the bark. They saw their precious girl to the now almost invisible gate. Granny watched as she slid through the slight opening. Grampy gave a jolly wave, put a reassuring arm around his wife’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze.


The End


The end? Of course not! All good daughters visit their parents and when you have two as special as my Granny and Grampy, well, you just try and stay away! Mum’s first visit was to introduce them to my dad. We don’t talk about that. All I can say is that, according to the tale, the tree, on seeing his face, shook her branches so ferociously, all her apples just dropped to the floor. One caught him a fine clout on the side of his head and fetched the tree a swift kick in return. Granny looked at her beloved and said, ‘Now there’s a bad apple if ever there was one.’ He nodded in agreement.

The next time mum visited, she was alone. Well, almost alone. There was me, like a little pip inside her tummy. Her parents received the news with delight and by the time I put in an appearance, mum was back in the orchard. She had a hut of her own, with a nursery for me and a tended garden roped off for my safety. That’s how I grew up! The same way my mum did and, almost, the same way Granny did. We were one very wonderful, magical  family with my exceptional grandparents holding us all together. Until Grampy died. Oh dear reader, my poor Granny. Never was a soul left so bereft. Death had never visited the orchard before, it had never even come up in their many conversations. He fell asleep one afternoon and just never woke up. 

*

In the days, weeks and months that followed, my mum and I pulled Granny through. Mum, by keeping house and organising the funeral. Me, by singing and dancing, with a smile on my face. There were many tears too but we did manage to raise the occasional chuckle from her. As she grew more peaceful and accepting of the passing of her beloved, Granny’s skin became darker. When she stood beneath the tree it was hard to tell the difference! Then one day, after mum had finished the housework and come looking for me, we found her stood there, smoothing the tree’s bark and speaking softly. ‘Mum?’ my mum called. ‘Granny?’ I added. But it was as if we weren’t there. Her body was still, as still as the tree she was caressing. We looked at her, her face was still so beautiful, still had the apple red blush on each cheek, the wide, dimpled smile that lit up her eyes, but her skin was now a deep green colour. Together we stepped forward and both put a hand on each of her arms. A flicker of recognition in her eyes, a single tear and she was gone. My Granny had become part of the orchard that had given her life, protected her, found her her soulmate and nurtured her precious family. Now it was time for her to pass on and I can think of nothing more fitting for my amazing Gran than to be forever rooted to the spot where she first cried, fell in love and said goodbye to my Grampy. 

Now, that’s an ending. 



©Lisa Lee 2013, sleeping in Elvegren Tales

Sunday 2 June 2013

My First Brush with Danger


Small and peculiar, I was content in my own company.
Introvert and singular, even I failed to notice me.

At the troublesome age of sixteen I attracted a gaze or two. The clothes became peculiar and singular, while I remained small and introvert. I should have been a worry for all concerned yet no one noticed me at all.

In a small town, as introverted as myself, I carved a me sized shape. My outgoing confidence betrayed my inward awkwardness. My two large brothers protected my cool innocence. But that couldn’t last forever.

Pubs, pubs and more pubs. What else is a girl to do? I smoked and drank like a man, dressed like a wood nymph, froze people out. Until I met the dad of a man who was a friend of a friend. I liked that friend. I thought he was cool.

A drunken night, no words exchanged just gazes. “You confuse me,” said my friend. “You have no idea what you do to men.” Hmm, and I downed my pint and rolled another. Cold and indifferent, I shrugged. The dad of the friend (who I thought was cool), said,
“Your face is exquisite. I would like to photograph you.”
“All right,” said I and got into his car.

We head out of town, this dad and I, the friend (his son) in the back with me.
We pull up to a barn, a converted barn and I’m not as impressed as I should be.

I remember little else, I was quietly drunk, though I do recall the light switch.
It was on the wrong side of the wall and it mattered to me. Much more than what could’ve happened next.

I woke up the next day, in my bed in my house with my mum making breakfast downstairs.
My recollection was vague but I knew I’d been good, my friend had been there the whole time. For months subsequent I would ask this chap, “Are the pictures done yet, are they okay?” He'd smile and look kind of sheepish.
Finally, I asked and, finally, he said, 
“Lisa, they are the pictures of a quiet beauty taken by a lecherous, drunken old bastard.” He stopped short of adding, “Who, if I hadn’t have been there, would’ve taken full advantage of your own insobriety.” 

That friend of mine remained confused about me but I became wiser that night. 
For dirty old men are there throughout life but to get into one’s car is not right.




©Lisa Lee 2013, sleeping in Elvegren Life